I saw a sign the other day that I liked: "autumn is a season after which we start looking forward to spring!" That about sums it up for me.

Th UPS man brought the first of my gift purchases today. I ordered it on Monday and since today is Thursday, that's not bad at all. Now I need to pull out the gift wrap and get busy. Maybe tomorrow. I tried going shopping at the mall today, but all I got was a headache. Guess I'll do some more online. One shopping trip I'm looking forward to is to Barnes and Noble in Erie. I love buying books and I have a whole list of folks who are getting them from Tom and me. People probably groan when they pick up their gift marked "from Cindy and Tom". "Another book. Can't they find something else to buy?" But we love books and figure no one can have too many, so we buy them. And then we ask if, when they've read them, could we please borrow them? Except, of course, the children's books we give Lakyn and Lani. We read them first, before the girls get them.

Speaking of books, I've been rereading one of Philip Yancey's called Soul Survivor. In it he talks about the harm caused by the church in which he was raised, with its legalism and racism and other isms. He nearly rejected religion because of these things. He asked "why am I still a Christian? What keeps me pursuing a gospel that has come to me amid so much distortion and static, that often sounds more like bad news than good?" That sounds like a good question to me. While I am confident the gospel I learned as a child wasn't distorted, looking back I remember standards, rules and thou shalt nots being preached far more than anything else. As an adult I heard a catecism question whose answer was that we should enjoy God. I was absolutely floored. I had no idea we could actually enjoy God. I still struggle with that concept. I love God and want to serve Him but often feel so burdened with guilt that I haven't prayed long enough or read enough scripture or simply don't feel spiritual that I have trouble relaxing enough to enjoy God. But we're working on that, God and me.

Getting back to Philip Yancey, he said he had "a thirst for God, a reverence for the Bible,and a love for Jesus" so he set out to reconcile his religious past with his spiritual present. He did this by searching for role models, some of which are rather surprising. The first one he showcases is Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tom's home and wants to talk and I can't concentrate so I'll continue with this tomorrow.