I saw a sign the other day that I liked: "autumn is a season after which we start looking forward to spring!" That about sums it up for me.

Th UPS man brought the first of my gift purchases today. I ordered it on Monday and since today is Thursday, that's not bad at all. Now I need to pull out the gift wrap and get busy. Maybe tomorrow. I tried going shopping at the mall today, but all I got was a headache. Guess I'll do some more online. One shopping trip I'm looking forward to is to Barnes and Noble in Erie. I love buying books and I have a whole list of folks who are getting them from Tom and me. People probably groan when they pick up their gift marked "from Cindy and Tom". "Another book. Can't they find something else to buy?" But we love books and figure no one can have too many, so we buy them. And then we ask if, when they've read them, could we please borrow them? Except, of course, the children's books we give Lakyn and Lani. We read them first, before the girls get them.

Speaking of books, I've been rereading one of Philip Yancey's called Soul Survivor. In it he talks about the harm caused by the church in which he was raised, with its legalism and racism and other isms. He nearly rejected religion because of these things. He asked "why am I still a Christian? What keeps me pursuing a gospel that has come to me amid so much distortion and static, that often sounds more like bad news than good?" That sounds like a good question to me. While I am confident the gospel I learned as a child wasn't distorted, looking back I remember standards, rules and thou shalt nots being preached far more than anything else. As an adult I heard a catecism question whose answer was that we should enjoy God. I was absolutely floored. I had no idea we could actually enjoy God. I still struggle with that concept. I love God and want to serve Him but often feel so burdened with guilt that I haven't prayed long enough or read enough scripture or simply don't feel spiritual that I have trouble relaxing enough to enjoy God. But we're working on that, God and me.

Getting back to Philip Yancey, he said he had "a thirst for God, a reverence for the Bible,and a love for Jesus" so he set out to reconcile his religious past with his spiritual present. He did this by searching for role models, some of which are rather surprising. The first one he showcases is Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tom's home and wants to talk and I can't concentrate so I'll continue with this tomorrow.

Post Thanksgiving Day Musings

It seems I'm not as smart as I thought I was. I was so smug, no Black Friday shopping for me. No crowds, no lines at the checkout, no craziness. I was not going to be a shopping cliche. Ha! Monday morning I spent a pleasant hour pointing and clicking and typing in my credit card number. Then while listening to the radio I discovered I had taken part in a new shopping cliche, Cyber Monday! What a shocker. I may have to actually go shopping, but the majority of the gifts Tom and I give will come to our house via UPS.

Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful. Both Douglas and Tommy were home and we had dinner with Mom and Dad. Along with the turkey I cooked Tom's goose. Seriously, he'd asked me to make a goose, too, so I did. It was surprisingly tasty, though there wasn't much meat on it. Mom baked both pumpkin and red raspberry pies. Yum. The boys and Tom and I had Friday breakfast at Perkins before Douglas went back to Columbus. Then on Saturday Tom, Tommy, and the neighbor kid cleaned the garage. We had a huge smelly bonfire at my folk's place. All very satisfying.

Thinking of Thanksgiving, there are innumerable things for which I am thankful. Among these are: bifocals, medications, my new job, my family, my home, my church, chocolate chip cookies, pizza delivery, sunshine, rain, flowers, good books, ice water, and coffee.

Well, Tom'll be home soon and there are pork chops to cook so I'll close for now. Happy Tuesday everybody!

Till Death Do Us Part

I'm going down memory lane today to a beautiful autumn day in 1975 when two young people happily pledged their lives to one another. Thirty two years ago I married Tom Misch. We were so young and so in love, so hopeful, with our lives stretching endlessly into the future. By now, though, we've lived through a lot of that future. It's been good for the most part. We had some hard times, the death of Tom's mother, Scott's death, nursing school, Tommy's infancy and his subsequent challenges, Tom's diabetes and my bipolar disorder,and now trying to support Douglas through an unwanted divorce. But each difficulty brought us closer as we leaned on each other and drew strength from one another. We pledged to grow old together, but I for one never thought about actually aging. Then one day I looked in the mirror and realized aging is a reality! I've been scrapbooking pictures from when the kids were little and oh, yes, we've all changed. But the journey has been fun and I'd do it all over again. I'm still madly in love with Tom Misch. He's my best friend. So as we celebrate today it's with joy and anticipation of the next thirty two years. Happy Anniversary my love!

A Week Later...

It's been a week since my last day at LaECI. People keep asking me if I miss it and the answer is NO! I'm enjoying taking care of the client I have and am still on the lookout for one more. But my stress level has gone down significantly and I aim to keep it there.

Last week Tom and I got to visit Douglas and Lakyn and Lani. Those babies are beyond precious. We took pictures but unfortunately they're on film rather than digital. I'm asking dear old Santa for a digital camera for Christmas. When that happens, look out. I'll be the proverbial grandmother with bazillions of grandbaby pictures. The kids are growing so fast; it's hard to believe they are close to a year old. Lani will pull herself up to the couch. Lakyn's not too interested in that yet, but can they zip around on their bellies! They make me tired just watching them. We don't get to see them very often nor for very long but each moment is treasured immeasureably. I love being a grandma.

Going back to my job, I did my first online billing today and it went surprisingly easy. I hope I did it right! I had to get my account set up with the billing company so I haven't been paid yet for any of the visits I've done. Since I don't work for the warm fuzzies I was glad to finally have things in place for billing. Now we'll wait and see how long it takes for payment.

Since my bathroom is screaming to be scrubbed I'll close for now. Hope everyone has a nice day. Cindy

I Quit My Job Today

I was paroled today from the Lake Erie Correctional Institution! After five years of nursing at LaECI I struck out on my own today as an independent healthcare provider. I will care for people in their homes and be paid by the state through the Waiver program. I have one part time client and a strong possibility for a second. I'm very excited to be doing this. It's been a long time coming. I really enjoyed being at the prison for most of the five years I was there. It's just been the last 5 or 6 months I began to feel it was time to move on. I explored the independent provider thing as a way to possibly someday care for my parents and get paid for it. Since they're the picture of health and have more fun than I do, I decided to put myself to work. So, with the support, both emotional and financial, of Tom and the expertise of my cousin, Lori, I now join the ranks of the self-employed. Suprisingly, my anxiety level has already gone down. I truly feel this move is a God thing and I can't wait to see where He leads.